Five things friday

Hey,

Sorry about skipping another ftf last week (and maybe the week before, I can't remember). Anyway, here are a few things I've had laying around and I'm gonna try to squeeze them in. I got my run in this morning (6.5 mi), have an early lunch meeting, reading, house cleaning, basketball game to attend, date night... all the stuff. So, here's some... things:

1. PORN STARS FOR JESUS

I still read relevant magazine posts now and then (though not as much as when Tyler H was running it). I don't know that this article about former adult actress Jenna Jameson getting baptized is super in-depth, but I read it. My first thought was, honestly, why does this stuff surprise us? I would think there are a lot of people in that industry who would love to be loved. And I mean *really* loved... not just lusted after. Anyway, good for her! 

2. WHAT EXACTLY DOES GRACE MEAN 

Did you hear about this? Tiny Grace College (which is not far from where we live, in Winona Lake, IN), set the college basketball scoring record for most points. Their women's team won a game 172-91. Apparently they practice that full court press the entire game system. The winning coach was asked about possibly running up the score... He says, "But they scored 91!" Ha. So I guess 81 points wasn't a large enough lead. Maybe they should look into a new name...

3. LIVING AND DYING

This week marked the 5th anniversary of my dad's death (Nov. 18th). I was going to write a post about it, but realized I didn't have that much to say. Other than... I recall saying not long after he died that I hated him. I have since realized that's not really true. I was angry with my dad... for not really being the type of father I wanted him to be. We never once had a "normal" conversation, and I resented that. But, I've come to accept that he was a flawed and sinful person just like me. I am not the type of father/grandfather I want to be either. Such is life, I guess.

4. WHAT I'M READING

The book I am currently reading is 'Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing,' by Jay Stringer. I got this from our church as part of our mental health initiative, but didn't realize just how personally helpful it would be. It's an excellent book (connected to the Allender Center), and I would recommend it to anyone - whether you think you have sexual brokenness in your life or not (because you might be surprised)!

5. A QUOTE

"The transformative journey of the prophets from anger to tears to compassion is the journey of the God of the Bible and those who read the Bible with love." - Richard Rohr (Yes, I realize I shared this yesterday... but I feel like it's worth saying again)

It's Friday, my friend. Give yourself a break today. And someone else too. We all need it... and love.

Peace

Finished vs. unfinished prophets (tears of things - pt. 5)

Today we move into chapters 5 & 6 of Richard Rohr's fantastic book, 'The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for An Age of Outrage.' Here is a brief summary of the two chapters:

In Chapter 5, Jeremiah: The Patterns That Carry Us Across, Rohr draws on the prophet Jeremiah to show how genuine prophecy involves three stages — order, disorder, and reorder — that mirror a spiritual maturation from righteous anger, through lament, into a kind of hope-filled surrender. Jeremiah, the so-called “reluctant prophet,” challenges his community’s shallow religiosity and violence, yet ultimately models a covenant of unconditional love rooted in grief and fierce longing. In Chapter 6, Unfinished Prophets: Elijah, Jonah, and John the Baptizer, Rohr reflects on three biblical figures who remain “unfinished” — they stay stuck in anger, blame, or dualistic thinking, never fully moving into the deeper compassion and grace that a mature prophet embodies. Through their unfinishedness, Rohr warns against moralism without transformation and invites us toward a prophetic maturity shaped by vulnerability, humility, and a relinquishing of ego.

Here are some of my highlighted (underlined) parts:

p. 64 - "Here we see the emerging pattern that God's people are invariably rescued by those on the edges themselves..."

**p. 65 - "I used to say 'I will not think about God anymore, I will not speak in his name anymore,' Then there seemed to be a fire burning in my heart. I am weary with holding it in and I could not bear it." (Jeremiah 20:7-9)

p. 69-70 - "So many religious people could be called 'defenders of the metaphors'! They love the bread or the water, but do not go where they point: to the inherent scrality of quite ordinary things."

p. 70 - "Authentic Christianity must be an utter commitment to reality, as opposed to ritual, or it is not a commitment to God." ... "The question is whether the ritual is pointing to the good, the true, and the beautiful, or pointing to the drama."

p. 73 - "Constant success does not teach you much that is helpful in terms of the less visible world."

Chapter 6 --

p. 81 - "My major thesis in this book is that most prophets invariably start with legitimate but righteously dualistic anger at the sins and injustice in the world. AS they pursue their calling to teach what they think is God's truth, they confront confusion, denial, doubt, love, and most especially epiphany. Maturing prophets let these experiences change them, allowing themselves to evolve into non-dual and compassionate truth-tellers.... What I call 'unfinished prophets' don't evolve and mature but persist in anger, blaming, and accusations. They remain moralistic and judgmental, but without the non-dual mysticism that characterizes a major prophet..."

p. 85 - "Their job is to speak the truth and let go of the consequences of any need for an ideal response. Even if no one listens, they do not lose heart. That is a major indicator of the purity of their message."

**p. 94 - "The transformative journey of the prophets from anger to tears to compassion is the journey of the God of the Bible and those who read the Bible with love."

--

And... there you have it. 

Critical mass & holy disorder (tears of things - pt. 4)

If I'm ever going to get through Richard Rohr's 'The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for An Age of Outrage,' I suppose I need to condense and combine.

Here is a summary of chapters 3 & 4:

In Chapter 3 of The Tears of Things, Rohr reflects on the biblical concept of the remnant — the small, faithful minority through which God brings transformation. He argues that real change often starts at society’s edges rather than from the center; this “critical mass” isn’t about power but witness, and it resists scapegoating by taking responsibility for collective ills. Rohr draws especially on the prophet Hosea, suggesting that divine love is adult and committed, even when our fidelity is broken. In Chapter 4, titled “Welcoming Holy Disorder,” Rohr introduces a spiritual pattern of order → disorder → reorder and argues that prophets don’t just condemn, they provoke a necessary upheaval. He outlines ten qualities of a true prophet — such as courage, humility, and compassion — showing that prophetic work isn’t motivated by status or reward but by love.

Below are some of the underlined sections from my reading...

p. 29-30 - "I am not sure how explicitly the prophets understood this seeming divine strategy, but they certainly learned to work inside of littleness, failure, and rejection from a nonresponsive audience."

p. 30 - "Power distorts truth, so God plants and develops it at the edge, where the power-hungry least expect it. The truth will always be too much for everybody, but God seems content with a few getting the point in each era." 

p. 32 - "This revelation of the remnant is the clear opposite of our notion of majority rule, authority rule, Christendom, or even 'one person, one vote.' In a very clear way, it presents an utterly counterintuitive theme that a humble minority is always the critical stand-in for God's big truth -- and the group through which God is working change."

p. 33 - "The critical mass in biblical theology is always the small, 'edgy' group that carries history forward almost in spite of the whole. Think of Noah and his family in the ark; the youngest and forgotten son David becoming king; the barren wives Sarah and Elizabeth, each giving birth to a special child late in life; the twelve outlier fishermen being called as Jesus's disciples instead of anybody from the capital city temple team."

p. 41 - "A minority within a minority, they taught the refined and actual message of love of God and neighbor as one, which is full religious transformation."

Chapter 4 -

p. 46-47 - "I founded the Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC)... in 1987 because of the growing sense that we needed to educate people to the truth-tellers who are inside and effective critics of religious institutions, without becoming negative or cynical themselves - a loyal opposition, as we call it today."

p. 52 - "A major assertion in this whole book is that they (prophets) were angry, even depressed, before they were sad and enlightened. Remember when Paul said that 'prophesying [can be] imperfect' (1 Cor. 13:9) and still be prophecy? Good news indeed."

p. 53 - "I think a prophet's reward - as well as the reward for those who receive a prophet - is precisely nothing, except the telling of the message itself. When you want and need something extra, like fame, money, or notoriety, the truth is already lost." ... "Jesus is forever purifying his messengers by pulling them outside of the usual reward systems."

p. 56 - "Look for humility, love, and detachment in the speaker. If those elements are not present, be careful and rightly doubtful. A prophet does not need to push the river of her ideas too feverishly, because she knows the source of the river is beyond her."

p. 56 - "Prophets must have asked themselves, many times, How do I know this is not just my idea? They have learned to be their own devil's advocate."  

p. 56-57 - Great section on the need for humility, simplicity, and a vow of poverty (to guard against corruption).

p. 59 - Remember, every time God forgives sin, he is saying that relationship matters more than his own rules. Think about that. Forgiveness honors disorder while still naming it disorder." 

p. 61 - "When criticism is not tolerated or encouraged, the proud, deceitful, and power hungry will invariably win out. Every institution needs designated, positive, and affirmed whistleblowers, or the shadow always takes over and the problem is never included in the resolution."

 

Okay... that's a lot. Happy chewing... :)

The receiving end of capitalism's damages (tears of things - pt.3)

Today I'm posting a few morsels from chapter 2 of Richard Rohr's book The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for An Age of Outrage. This was a really good chapter, focusing specifically on the Old Testament prophet Amos, among others.

The best way to sum up this chapter is from this bit on pp.22-23:

...If we do not recognize that evil first and foundationaly resides in the group, we will continue to search out, condemn, or perhaps forgive the "few bad apples," thinking that will take care of our problems. But too often, sins we condemn in the individual are admired, or at least given a cultural pass, at the corporate level. Consider some of the contradictions in our own culture, for example:

• Killing is wrong, but war is good.
• Greed is wrong, but luxury and capitalism are ideals to be sought after.
• Pride is bad, but nationalism and patriotism are admirable (never in the Bible, however).
• Lust is wrong, but flirting and seduction are attractive.
• Envy is a capital sin, but advertising is our way of life.
• Anger at our neighbor is wrong, but angry people get their way.
• Slot is a sin, but wealthy people can take it easy.
• Murder is wrong, but easy access to guns is a right and duty.

 ...The view from the bottom helps us escape this human tendency. I have learned from a lifetime as a preacher that even a slight critique of capitalism is totally unacceptable in American pulpits. It can be intuitively and freely understood, however, in the barrios of Guatemala, or the lower-middle-class Mexican American parish where I preached regularly until Covid, because their viewpoint is from the receiving end of capitalism's damages...

Continuing onto p. 24 -- 

"The church has been trying for centuries to save individuals while ignoring the corrupt system in which those individuals operate."

"My point here is that the prophets approached evil from an entirely different perspective"

**"The prophets, far ahead of their time, learned that it is social sin that destroys civilization and humanity: global warming, war, idealization of immense wealth, celebrity worship, the pursuit of fame and fortune, immense and growing income inequality, a denial of common truth, and on and on."**

"Jesus, you can see when you read the Gospels, is not much concerned about sexual issues, for example, except as matters of justice and honest."

 P. 27 - "Radical unity with God and neighbor is the only way any of us truly heals or improves."

 

Whew... that's some stuff there, is it not? I don't even know what more I can say. It sort of leaves one... humbled.

Monday meander

Oof. Yep, I missed another Five Things Friday. Sorry about that. I don't really even have an excuse. It just didn't happen.

So, here is a sort of substitute. Some stuff...

• Most of our evening activities now include basketball games. Either the granddaughter's JV high school team, or our grandson's who both play on the middle school "varsity" team, even though they are in 6th and 7th grade (usually the MS varsity is 8th graders, but they don't have any 8th graders that play). They are both fun to watch.
• Last week we did work the concession stand with our daughter for a varsity high school girls game. The wife and daughter worked the pretzel maker, and I was the drink runner for the counter people. It wasn't bad.
• I did my usual setup of the concert hall last Thursday, with one added twist: We had to set up the dance floor for the show on Saturday night. Ugh. I hate the dance floor. It comes in 4'x4' squares that lock together. It ended up at 16'x24' (I think). It's old, and some of the plastic "locking" features don't work so well anymore. It's a bit of a job for two people (me and a guy named Mark set up for most of the shows). Normally they charge an extra $450 to set it up - which we don't make any money off of ourselves - but it was for a local band and they didn't charge. I did get two free tacos for my trouble (which is not worth it).
• The show on Saturday night was actually pretty fun. I did my usual bartending gig, and made a decent amount in tips ($45 in cash; I'm still waiting on credit card tip money). A local band with a good following which includes a lot of younger people. They play very high energy music with a heavy latin sound (think Carlos Santana), and they had a 7-piece band on this night. Fun time.
• What was an even better time this past weekend was the Story Workshop led by Adam Young, of the Allender Center. It was held by/at our church on Friday night and Saturday. Adam led us through a series of talks, discussion, and journal prompts designed to provoke curiosity, prayer, and discovery around our personal stories. He was excellent, and it was a really good workshop. I will likely share more about it in a separate post one of these days. For now, here's a blip off the Allender Center site as to what it's about:
  

  Story is the heartbeat of God, the primary form for revealing who we are, who God is, how the world is broken, and how God intends to restore us and the world. We believe, too, that no one escapes harm over the course of their lifetime. Therefore we all have stories that need healing and restoration. Unfortunately, there are very few contexts in which the full extent of harm and heartache in the human experience can be explored in a way that brings healing. Many therapists are not equipped to address the narrative dimensions at the heart of human brokenness, and many churches and communities avoid the conversations out of fear, discomfort, or lack of training. So we live in a world of silos where narrative therapy, inner healing, and spiritual warfare are seldom integrated for the hope for restoration.

  Our purpose is to step into this gap to offer story exploration experiences and to train more leaders to address harm and tragedy with informed care and holistic engagement, identifying the emotional, spiritual, and relational impacts of our core stories of neglect, loss, betrayal, or outright abuse and violence. And in this process, something truly transformative happens: we find the hope of redemption. Courageously stepping into stories of pain and harm is the very place that true healing and restoration occurs.

   

So, that's what's been happening lately... besides reading, running, cleaning the house, and leaf raking/mowing. Hopefully I will put up some more posts this week. 

Have a good one!

The tears of things: why tears? (ch. 1)

Today I will resume my thoughts from Richard Rohr's marvelous book The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for An Age of Outrage. I felt chapter 1 was the best of the book, as it laid the framework as well as gave an explanation for the title. Here's an Ai summary of the chapter:

In the opening chapter, Rohr sets out his foundational theme: that suffering, lament, and deep vulnerability are central to both spiritual maturity and prophetic living. He introduces his three-stage pattern of growth—“order” (a safe dualistic religion of reward/punishment), “disorder” (crisis, confusion, the breakdown of old certainties), and “reorder” (a non-dual, mature way of seeing everything in relation—what he calls the way of the prophet). He argues that the prophets of the Hebrew Bible typify this journey, and invites us to understand that tears—the recognition of tragedy, suffering, and the brokenness of things (“the tears of things”)—are not failure but gateways into a deeper awareness of reality and compassion. The chapter establishes that true prophetic wisdom is not simply moral indignation but a tender, sorrow-filled participation in the world’s pain with the aim of transforming toward love and wholeness.

Here are some of my highlighted parts:

p. 3 - "In the first book of Virgil's Aenid (line 462), the hero Aeneas gazes at a mural that depicts a battle of the Trojan War and the deaths of his friends and countrymen. He is so moved with sorrow at the tragedy of it all that he speaks of "the tears of things." As Seamus Heaney translates it, "There are tears at the heart of things" -- at the heart of our human experience. Only tears can move both Aeneas and us beyond our deserved and paralyzing anger at evil, death, and injustice without losing the deep legitimacy of that anger."

p. 4 - "It is hard to be on the attack when you are weeping." 

p. 6 - "Collective greed is killing America today." "Somehow the prophets knew, the soul must weep to be a soul at all."

p. 11 - "All of us, prophets included, usually must do it wrong, or partly wrong, many times before we can do it right."

p. 12 - Habakkuk's 'Great Nevertheless' (one of my favorite passages in the bible, Hab. 3:17-18) 

 "If you quote or follow the prophets in their immature stages, you might end up eating your children (Jer. 19:9), firebombing the temple, and meeting a God who is mainly known for his wrath, vanity, divisiveness, pettiness, and petulance (Ez. 13)." 

"Only the whole narrative of any book of the Bible really deserves to be called inspired."

 p. 14 - "We have created generations of good people who use the red and yellow verses as if they were inspired, mature statements. But if you read them closely, you will begin to see a pattern I have long taught about the way we progress as human beings: from order into what seems to be disorder, and finally reaching some kind of reorder." 

Yes, what I liked about this chapter was the emphasis that you can't really just pick some verses from the prophets and say "See, this is what they're like"... or even, "This is what God is like." The prophets, like all of us, were works in progress. They thought different things at different points in their journey. As my old theology professor (RIP, Dr. C) used to say, "Write your beliefs in pencil, because they may change over time."

Anyway, this was a good chapter, imho.

God as grandfather

Have you checked out the First Nations Version of the New Testament yet? You should. I love it!

As they describe on their website:

The FNV is a dynamic equivalence translation that captures the simplicity, clarity, and beauty of Native storytellers in English, while remaining faithful to the original language of the New Testament. Whether you are Native or not, you will experience the Scriptures in a fresh and new way.

Now they have released the First Nations Version of Psalms and Proverbs... and I love it even more!

It makes me want to be a better person...

Richard Beck shares in THIS POST (it's short, read it) how they came to designate the Hebrew word for God as... 'Grandfather.' I'm not sure where he got this quote, but it explains it:

For the FNV Psalms and Proverbs, we followed the Jewish tradition of replacing YHWH with another name. We considered a First Nations name that would be meaningful, honoring, intimate, and intertribal. We needed a unique name we had not used in the New Testament since the New Testament Greek does not translate the name for YHWH.

The title Grandfather was proposed...This title carries the relational weight of the name. This name meets the criteria of intertribal and is often used at powwows and other First Nations gatherings. In all Native cultures, grandfathers and grandmothers are highly honored. Grandfather is a name of honor, dignity, intimacy, and loving authority.

Fathers and grandfathers are not generally depicted as honorable figures in most white American culture (think TV sitcoms where we're the doofus and butt of jokes). And, in some cases, rightfully so. It's not just the depictors fault, but sometimes the fault of us dads and grandfathers.

Wouldn't it be great if we could live up to the honor, dignity, intimacy, and loving authority of Native cultures though? I'd like to give it a try, at least... 

The first snow and last mow(?)

We had our first snow of the year yesterday. I knew there was a chance of snow, but didn't expect it to be anything that stuck. However, when I woke up there was a bit on the ground, and it continued to snow off and on, and now there is maybe a couple inches, completely covering the ground.

I doubt if it will stick around long, but it's enough that I may need to find an alternate running path today, or hope it melts off quickly.

The problem with this snow is... the leaves have really just started falling en masse, so it's a bit of a cruddy mess at the moment.

As for mowing... I moved last week, trying to clean leaves from the lawn, but by the end of the week it was covered up entirely. So, whether that was the last mowing or not, I am not sure, yet.

We still have another city leaf pickup scheduled for late November, so I may use the bagger and do that - provided the snow isn't covering them up.

And... that's about all the excitement around here for today. 

What is a prophet?

Today I will share some insights from the introduction of Richard Rohr's book 'The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for An Age of Outrage.'

My underlined parts...

• p. xiii - "When we picture a prophet of the Old Testament - and there are many of them, more than thirty, including seven women - most of us image an angry, wild-haired person ranting and raving at the people of Israel for their many sins or predicting future doom. Some of the prophets did just that, but my hears of study, conversation, and contemplation have shown me that this prevailing image is not the truest or most important reality of their work, calling, or messages."

• p. xiv - "There was a deep need, then and now, for someone would would call the people to return to God and to justice. Someone who would warn them, critique them, and reveal God's heart to them. We call them prophets, and every religion needs them."

• p. xviii - "The prophets know that religion is the best and that religion also risks being the worst."

• p. xix - "Throughout Scripture, the prophets seem to emphasize one sin above all the rest: idolatry, our habit of making things 'God' that are not absolute, infinite, or objectively good."

• p. xxi - "They call out the collective, not just the individual, as a way of seeking the common good and assuring us that some common good might just be possible. It is a lesson we still find hard to learn." (preceding paragraph is really good too, but long). 

• p. xxv - "The slow metamorphosis of our notions of God -- from lion to lamb, from anger to tears, from lonely solitude to grateful community -- is quietly taking place."

• p. xxv - "Basically, this is the number one lesson: We can learn to love others by closely observing how God loves us and all of creation."

• p. xxvi - "The prophets started out the same way, but they changed and grew up. That is the theme of themes in this small book."

• p. xxvi - "In a Trinitarian worldview, all reality is relationship at its core."

 

Qualities of a true prophet

I finally finished Richard Rohr's fantabulous book 'The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for An Age of Outrage.'  

Part of what took me so long is... it is so dense with wisdom. In some places it felt like I was underlining every other sentence or paragraph. I really liked it. But it wasn't a quick read for me.

I hope to share some tidbits in the coming days, and I'm going to start today at the end.

On p. 162, at the end of the book, he shares this list of qualities that indicate a true prophet (in his opinion). He says this list "extends beyond the prophets of the Old Testament to qualities of prophets in any age and any tradition." I like it! 

THE WAY OF THE PROPHET

Prophets embrace religion as a way of creating communities of solidarity with justice and suffering.

They look for where the suffering is and go there, just as Jesus did.

They speak of solidarity with one God, which also implies union with all else.

They are essentially mystical and unitive, not argumentative.

The goal they proclaim is not to prove oneself worthy, innocent, or pure.

The prophet learns to be for and with, and not against.  

They are for those who are suffering or excluded.

They have perfected the art of self-criticism, and they make it their priority.

They include the opposites and thus transcend them.

Salvation, to them, is the unitive consciousness in this world, not the anticipation of later rewards or fear of future punishments.

They are centered not on sin but on growth, change, and life.

They know that the best teachers are reality itself and creation.

They live well with paradox and diversity in their mature stages.

They do not reject the way of the priest -- they have just moved beyond it alone.

They are not based in fear of God or self.

They are always drawn to higher levels of motivation.

Salvation is, first of all, experienced now, as are rewards and punishments.

They start with judgment but end with the divine pity. 

They call forth tears more than anger.

The tears of everything.

And those tears are more tears of gratitude and joy than tears of sadness for what might have been.

Turning 63

Apparently I'm older now. Hmm...

I turned 63 this past week. To very little fanfare. Very little. In fact, I may not have even realized it if not for people telling me it was my birthday.

I have always shared a birthday with my mom. Yep, I was born on her birthday, so we've shared it my entire life, and every year of hers since she turned 25. Sorry, mom.

Sometimes I get down on my birthday because, I suppose sometimes I get my expectations too high. There are other times, though, where I'm like... 'Yeah, I feel pretty good to have made it another year.'

This year was... it was weird. It wasn't even vanilla... it was more... gray. And not in the gray-hair wisdom way.

Gray as in... blah. No expectations. 

I wish I could say it's because I've learned to temper them... but that's not it. If feels more like... maybe I'm giving up.

We did go out to eat Friday (Cork 'N Cleaver). I like the food there, but we were stuck in a back corner of the bar area and couldn't really even see anyone else. Plus, it kind of had a faint sewer smell. That seems about right.

Saturday, the night before, our son-in-law's band was playing in town. I thought that might be fun. However, we ended up leaving early to take the grandsons home, while everyone stayed and partied with the son-in-law's family. Which is fine, but... you know... then that's what got shared on the socials...

The day of my birthday... we went to church. I didn't feel like going, or seeing anyone, but... you know... it's one of the only times I get to be around other people. I didn't want to miss out. I didn't know what else to do. After church we went to Panera for lunch, then hit the recliners for the rest of the day... yippee (/s).

My mom called, like she always does on Sundays, and the Minnesota clan called us from their trip to Florida.

That... was it. Recliners, silence, alone inside my head. Just another day.

So, so far, 63 is bored, lonely, blah. Yay. 

Five things friday

Hey there. Congratulations! You made it to another Friday, and the end of another month! Yippee!! Don't you just love feeling time slip away? Ha!

Here is this week's five things, you know, before Christmas gets here...

1. HALLOWEEN 

The pic above is our candy pile for trick-or-treaters. I was at the store the other day and saw it was on sale. At first I was glad they had it out in the center aisle, because I forgot all about the holiday. Then I became a little worried that maybe I'd forgotten it and missed it (since it was on sale). But, alas, all is well. Apparently it's today. Who knew? Trick or Treat hours are 5:30-7:30 in our neck o' the woods tonight. Of course, I naturally bought way more candy than we will pass out. I leave the chocolates until last, hoping there will be some left for me!

2. HALLOWEEN II

I've never really been 'into' halloween. Not sure why. I guess, for one thing, it wasn't nearly as marketed when I was young, and people didn't get into it like they do now that the machine is driving sales. Plus, I have never liked scary movies and all that. Later on, when we were big into the evangelical machine, it was painted as an 'evil' holiday and we weren't to have anything to do with it (I guess). Nowadays, I'm no longer 'afraid' of it, but... I still just don't really get it. I suppose, if anything, it's a nice way for people to visit others in the neighborhood. Weird how we have to have a holiday to do that... and I'm not sure that even helps all that much.

3. EVENTS

This time of year seems to have a lot of events. Other than halloween there is All Saints Day, the end of Daylight Saving Time (this Saturday/Sunday), elections, and a host of birthdays... Bennett and Wynn were earlier this month, our daughter in law had hers this week, my dad's would have been this week, mine and my mom's is this week... lots of stuff. Try to keep up, will ya?

4. HOW TO MAKE SMALL TALK

I stumbled onto this article 'The Myth of Scarcity: 12 Stupidly Easy Things That Will Set You Apart From the Pack' and it led me to 'How to Make Small Talk.' As they say, "Small talk is the portal through which every person you will ever meet will enter your life"... so it's kind of important. It's also something I've never been particularly good at. So I read the article. They suggest the ARE method (Anchor, Reveal, Encourage). Seems simple enough. Though, sometimes it's the simple things we have the most problems with...

5. A QUOTE

"You cannot buy the revolution. You cannot make the revolution. You can only be the revolution. It is in your spirit, or it is nowhere." - (American novelist Ursula K. Le Guin, reminding us that change always begins by taking responsibility for how we live)

 

And... there ya have it. Be safe out there tonight. Don't forget to love your neighbor!

Peace

I got a haircut

Mary Oliver's instructions for living a life are simple:

Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.

So, for my first haircut in almost six years: I paid attention (or tried), I was astonished, and I’m going to tell you about it... Because it was way better than expected!

I suppose I stopped paying someone else to cut my hair in 2012 or 2013. I was trying to save money, and since I was balding anyway, buzzing it myself just made sense.

There were several reasons, then, why I stopped cutting my hair entirely in early 2020. I believe I told Jane I wasn't going to cut it again until DJT was no longer president. Yet, there was more... which I may get around to telling someday.

Anyway, my hair had basically quit growing. It broke off or fell out as fast as it was coming in, and probably looked somewhat hideous. So, for the past few months I'd been bracing myself to get it cut/trimmed. I hoped that by trimming the ends it would stimulate more growth, or something like that. Jane suggested I go where she goes, because she likes the woman who cuts hers.

I felt a little funny making an appointment at a place called Pin-Up Curls. But, hey, who am I trying to impress. So, I filled out their online intake form - which took as long as the hair appointment did - and they assigned me to Kelsey, who also cuts Jane's hair.

Let me just say, when the day finally arrived, I was nervous as a cat. I got up early, I was scrambling around the house, watching the minutes tick by until it was time to go. I left too early and had to drive around the block. But... finally I arrived (still five minutes early).

The salon/spa/boutique looks just like you would expect a place with a name like that to look. Yet, I was greeted by three friendly smiles at the front counter. I didn't have to wait long for Kelsey to come get me. Of course she was super nice and cute, but also seemed pretty down to earth, which I liked.

We walked past a half dozen women (all women, except me) and got to her chair. At first we sat and talked... about my hair. I didn't really know what to say because... you know... it's just my 'old man' hair. I shampoo once or twice a week, comb it sometimes, and... what else is there to say? Still, she was funny and patient and... she wrote with her left hand. Okay, we had something in common!

She said a lot of stuff, most of which is now a blur, because I was nervous and tried to just smile and nod at the appropriate times. Finally she led me from the chair around the corner and said she was going to wash my hair. Cool! I don't think anyone has washed my hair for me since my mom did when I was like five years old.

Wow... I mean... wow. Yes, she washed my hair... But she massaged my head, and neck, and... then put a warm towel over my face and weighted things on my eyes, and... whew... 

As the conditioner was setting... she massaged my hands and arms... ... ... I was in love.

Holy cow, after she rinsed my hair she brought me back out to her chair and asked me how I felt. I didn't want to ask if she had a cigarette (because I don't smoke) but... yeah, I felt like I'd just had sex. Geez... I was almost numb. Jane says she told me all that was going to happen, but I'd either forgotten or didn't listen in the first place. Whichever, I was not expecting that... I hadn't felt that good in...

The rest is kind of a blur now. She cut 1 1/2 inches off my hair, put stuff on it, did stuff to it, then we were done. As we're walking back to the front she asked if I wanted to buy any of the product she used. I said 'sure.' She could have sold me snow in a snowstorm at that point.

I tipped $15 on a $20 haircut and bought every product she touched. I don’t even know what they were for. I just nodded like a man hypnotized by conditioner. It cost me like $120 altogether... (part of the tip was because I got $20 off as a new customer).

It wasn't until I walked out the door that I was startled back to reality. What the hell just happened, I asked myself. As I got to my car it dawned on me how much of an idiot I just was. I looked in the rearview mirror to make sure someone hadn't written "sucker" on my forehead. I suppose it wasn't necessary.

So that’s my story of the world’s most expensive haircut (at least for me).
But honestly, I’m glad I went. Kelsey was great (I learned, in addition to being left handed, she works out early, runs, has an older brother, and her dad has a cat named Cat. If I ever get another haircut, I hope it's from her). For a few minutes, I was completely present — paying attention, being astonished, and now, finally, telling about it.

Maybe that's all any of us can do.

Six things saturday (personal)

Yeah, yeah... another Friday come and gone. I know your life is not complete without... this. ;)

I don't have much, but a few tidbits from my week. It was actually a nice one.

1. LUNCH AT SWEETWATER

Once a month or so I have lunch with a group of older folks who were regulars at the Y where I used to work. Most of them are older than me, and not only do they all still work out there regularly, but they've even added a few to the group over time. Usually we have just over or under a dozen people show up (the whole group may be just over 20 now).

The last couple times we've gotten together have been at the Sweetwater food court. It's a fantastic place to have lunch and/or meetings (not to mention the largest online and physical music store in the country). This time, the couple who set up these lunches (who are a fantastic older couple who travel the world extensively and live life to the full) made sure it was on a date their friend was hosting a one-hour show during lunch time. I can't even remember her name now, but she was a student of theirs in high school, played on the volleyball team they coached, and is fairly well-known in the area (I know she plays in Hubie Ashcraft's band locally).

She had put together a band for a show she was supposed to be opening for a fairly well-known country artist in northern Indiana, but it was cancelled at the last minute (again, I can't remember who, but I was familiar with the name). So they played at Sweetwater instead. Twangy country is not really my thing, but these people were good! The fiddle player/singer used to play with Alabama, and the guitarist had played with the Charlie Daniels Band. The four-piece group were simply incredible musicians/performers. While not my style, it was an enjoyable show, and there was a really good crowd.

Anyway, as I sat with my friends gathered around a table for fourteen, it felt good to be part of this group of people. I sat by Tony and his wife Jane, who I am fond of. Tony actually coaches the boys high school volleyball team where my granddaughter goes to school.

2. HOLDING SPACE FOR PASTORS

Another day this week I met with our pastor. We had coffee, and I always think I keep him from doing more important things for far too long... but we always have good and heartfelt discussions. This time seemed a little more special. He is in the midst of some difficult family health issues, so I wanted to focus just on him.

I don't know how good I am at listening - I suppose it varies from time to time - but as he shared his heart and soul... I felt like I was exactly where I should be right now. I haven't felt that for quite some time. I don't want to say too much, but it really made me wish I could do this more, for more pastors. Maybe being a pastor isn't my thing anymore, but... maybe this is even more important. I don't know. It made me want to read Richard Rohr's book 'Falling Upward' again...

3. CONCERT SET-UP

Later that same day I set up for an upcoming show at the Baker Street Centre where I/we volunteer. Usually it's me and another guy, plus the hall manager who tells us how it needs to be. This day it was just me.

For the last show we used every table we have. Maybe 40 or so tables of various sizes (and they're the old metal/wood type), and around 400 chairs. For the next show, we aren't using ANY tables. So I had to move all of them out; by myself. It was a chore, but I like doing it. It makes me feel needed. I also re-positioned around 170 or so chairs.

There were several ladies who showed up who are putting on the upcoming event, and it made it a little more challenging to know who to listen to, but I - even I - am learning to keep my mouth shut and smile politely. There was also another band leader who showed up, and some vendors. I kind of like being on the 'underside' of things. It took around two hours, and I felt good (oh yeah, and I unloaded a new alcohol shipment by myself).

4. RUNNING AGAIN

I took three weeks off from running after the last half marathon. I can't even remember why now. Anyway, I used our Assault bike in the basement a couple times a week, rode my bike outside now and then, and took walks only occasionally. I also started lifting weights a couple days a week again (egym).

This week I ran three days, for a few slow miles each time. I actually feel pretty good. It's nice to be free of aches and pains. I'd had some minor plantar fasciitis in my right foot, and my left achilles would sometimes act up... but both feel much better.

It's funny, sometimes when I return to running after a break, it's like I've completely forgotten how to run. But this time, I almost feel like my form is better than it was before. I'm running straighter up and down, and my hips and core feel stronger. Although, I'm thinking I need to work on leg/core strength to keep from wearing down as I begin to add miles. 

I'd like to do a half marathon trail run in December again, so we'll see how it goes. Then, towards the end of the year, I plan to start marathon training back up.

5. FALL FEELINGS

The weather has begun to change, and the temperature drop. It was 33F when we got up this morning, and we finally decided it was ridiculous to not turn on the furnace. It was down to 60F inside. I don't know why I always want to wait as long as possible.

Anyway, Fall is my favorite season. Some people don't like that it seems like everything is dying. I, on the other hand, like to think of it as everything is taking a rest... renewing. Plus I like the clean look of barren fields and empty trees. It's pleasingly serene.

Wearing a light jacket, sweatshirts and/or flannel... that's the best, as far as I'm concerned. 

6. A QUOTE

"They tried to bury us. They didn't know we were seeds." - Mexican proverb

 

So, there you go. Just a little reminisce and peak into my world as I get ready to turn the page on another year. This week felt good. Thanks for listening. 

No kings 2

We participated in the second 'No Kings' protest this past Saturday. I kind of thought this was at least the third one in Fort Wayne, but apparently it's the second nationally(?). Either way, this was our second (both in FW).

Some random thoughts:

• The first one we attended had an estimated crowd of 5,000 locally; this one was estimated at 8,000. I have no idea how they do this, because there were people coming and going throughout the 2-5PM time, but I'm sure someone has it figured out. This one definitely seemed larger though.
• The first one actually seemed louder. We could hear the noise as soon as we parked our car, and we were 4-5 blocks away. However, I suppose we were more used to it for this one.
• It was weird, because there was a 'Zombie Walk' in the same general area. As we were walking to the courthouse (site of the protest), we saw all these people walking down the streets. Apparently lots were there for the Zombie Walk too. Kind of funny seeing people who did both. :)
• We saw several people we knew, most of them from our church.
• Almost everyone seemed genuinely happy. Lots of smiles, people chatting. I suppose, for most people (us included), it's just nice to know we're not alone. There's a comradery. 
• The first one had a small stage and several people spoke; this one just had a dj playing music. I was glad they made that change. Less organized seemed better.
• Lots of signs. Some were pretty funny, most were fairly serious. We did not have a sign at either one.
• I am no more a fan of the "F*ck Trump" signs than I was of the "F*ck Biden" signs. Just... why? Why do people need to do that?
• Personally, I did not feel this was an anti-Trump rally, and definitely not an anti-America rally (there were a lot of flags, veterans, and other pro-America people there). In fact, I don't even consider it being about republican vs. democrat, or right vs. left. It's more simply: wrong vs. right. But maybe that's just me. I'd like to think people could peacefully protest anything the government is doing that is wrong. Which is not the same thing as being anti-government in general.
• One of my favorite things is watching the cars drive by. I think it's a one-way four-lane road... and lots of people were honking and hanging out windows. That usually got the crowd stirred up. Of course there were a few trump supporters flipping people off. Whatever. 
• I did not see any protestors protesting the No Kings protestors. There was one big pickup truck with trump flags (go figure) driving around, but... so what. 
• As to whether it did any good: I don't know, but it made me feel good, so... I think that should count for something. 
• All in all, I feel like this is one of the more patriotic things I have done. We participated in an event speaking out against government injustice, and there seemed to be a shared spirit of unity among everyone there - young and old alike. I was glad to be a part of it.

Meh, so there's some thoughts off the top of my head on this chilly Tuesday morning...